Monday, February 18, 2008

Mideast Peace???

Originally posted November 27, 2007...moved here...
There is a big one day meeting in Annapolis Maryland today. All the players in the middle east will be there. The purpose of this one day event is to put an end to CENTURIES of warfare...I find it hysterical that the powers that be think that centuries of gripes,religious differences, and land squabbles can be resolved in one day. Now I am pretty sure this is largely symbolic, and they are getting together to at least give the appearance that they give a crap. My question is this...when is enough enough?
The Israelis and Palistinians will never get along...NEVER. The rivalry between different Palistinian groups will never be resolved.The Iranians and their hobbit president will eventually have nukes (and use them). The Syrian government will continue to let terrorists train in their country. The Pakistani government (who has nukes) will always play both sides of the fence, and the Saudis are a bunch of untrustworthy snakes.
I have a little experience in the middle east, and I have extensive experience dealing with Saudis. It may sound a bit bitter but I stand by my rather bold statements. So we are going to lie to them, they are going to lie to each other, and the conflict rages on. My solution is let them fight. Its not like we need to be in that region of the world anymore...we have the technology for alternative fuel sources.
Our dependence on middle eastern (Saudi) oil, and all the financial windfalls for the people involved is a disgrace. We live in a great country, we are completely dependent on oil produced by a country full of people that absolutely despise our way of life. I see a huge problem with that. I just cant figure out why nobody else sees a problem with that. Especially our elected officials who we trust to have our best interest in mind. So when I see that there is a huge one day conference to bring about peace in the middle east I have to laugh.
You want peace in the middle east? Air conditioners (working),refrigerators,marijuana, and good music...and a playstation 3. Get them stoned out of their minds on some really good weed,sit them in a nice cool house with a fridge full of munchies,throw on some tunes, and turn on the playstation. A big giant BLT might help as well. You're not going to hell for eating bacon dammit! Give them all that, and the next time some radical cleric comes looking for recruits to blow themselves up in the name of Allah, they would get a hearty fuck you and a swift kick in the balls.
Picture this...chilling out stoned on a comfy couch munching on a giant blt playing video games. Abdullah (generic name) knocks on your door and says its time to go blow yourself up to kill a few americans. I would give him the "what did the five fingers say to the face" in my best Rick James impression followed by the hardest back hand he had ever experienced. Now picture're sitting on your dirt floor, with no electricity,no running water,no blt, and its 126 degrees. Abdullah comes knocking on your door and says its time to blow yourself up to kill some americans. I would look around at my horrible living conditions, take a quick stock of my life, and thank Abdullah as I was putting on the suicide vest...Shit he probably would not even need to mention the prospect of 72 hot chicks wanting to have sex with me in the afterlife. I could be wrong but I honestly think that may be the answer.


Originally posted on Dec 13, 2007...I moved it here...
I read an op ed piece in the New York Times on Sunday asking where all the "moderate" muslims were. I have also seen several people who claim they are speaking for their faith saying that Islam is a peaceful religion, and that true muslims do not commit the atrocities that seem to dominate the news. They further claim that Islam has been hijacked by zealots who have bastardized an otherwise peaceful religion to serve their ulterior motives. OK, seems to be a fair argument, and up until this year I would have been shouting in agreement at the top of my lungs to whoever would listen. I wholeheartedly believed that we, as a predominantly judeo/christian society, needed to keep an open mind and be tolerant.
So last month a 19 year old Saudi woman met her ex boyfriend to have him return some pictures. It seems she was about to be married and wanted some pictures back. Both her and her friend were abducted by 7 men and gangraped brutally. She reported the crime to the Saudi police whereupon she was promptly arrested for breaking Islamic law. Her initial sentence was 90 lashes and her friend was given 90 lashes as well. Her sentence was upped after her lawyer brought the matter to the international press. She is now going to serve a 6 month jail term followed by 200 lashes (which is tantamount to a death sentence). It seems that by getting into a car of a man that she was not married to, she broke the Islamic Sharia law (the law of the land in Saudi Arabia). So this 19 year old girl who was subjected to the worst form of violence and humiliation will further suffer because Islam says she must. Incidentally, her lawyer is also facing disciplinary action by the courts for bringing it to the attention of the rest of the world. Some may say who happened all the way over in Saudi Arabia...could not happen here right? Try this one on for size... Last week in Toronto an 11th grade girl named Aqsa Parvez was brutally murdered by her father for refusing to wear a hijab (head scarf). KILLED BY HER FATHER!!!! Aqsa dishonored her devout father and family by refusing to cover her head. Aqsa wanted to fit in with the other girls in her class. She had no desire to cover her head. So it may be an isolated incident? Honor killings happen everday in islamic societies/communities. EVERYDAY! And, the person that does the killing is usually the father or the brother.I just cant swallow the Islam is a peaceful religion argument anymore. I have seen firsthand the results of suicide bombers (who believe they are doing the work of Allah). I have watched the videos of the attacks on 9/11. I have lost friends to bomb blasts. Peaceful??? There is nothing peaceful about a father killing his daughter...nothing. There is nothing peaceful about sentencing a victim of a horrific crime to prison. Please...dont just take my word for it. Do some research...there are plenty of ways to find these things out for yourself.
Some of my favorite shirts are religiously offensive here is an example...Jesus is Coming...Open Your Mouth! Now should I choose to wear a shirt like that I am reasonably certain someone will not try to kill me. And, I do not see mass riots going on by people who have taken offense to that shirt. A fairly funny comic depicting the prophet Muhammed wearing a turban that resembled a bomb caused worldwide riots and calls for the execution of the author. Peaceful?!?!?! So maybe the answer to the question posed in the New York Times is...There are no moderate muslims! I could be dead wrong but it does make me think....

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Stupidity should hurt

I had originially posted this elsewhere...I have moved it here...
So I had a friend tell me she watched the TV show Cops last night. Cops, and the rest of the "when bad things happen cause I was really dumb" reality shows are a guilty pleasure. I love watching idiots be idiotic. I think my favorites are the when animals attack shows. They always show some dude who has a lion for a pet getting the crap beat out of him by said lion. The narrator is always pointing out that the lion is the lifelong friend and it has never been aggressive blah blah blah. They always show the aftermath as well. The lion owner after several reconstructive surgeries with a look on his face that is only shared by people who know from first hand experience what it is like to not be at the top of the food chain. The narrators voice always softens, and I always get the impression that I am supposed to be sympathetic. Do the folks sifting through the hours of video these shows receive sit around drinking beer saying things like..."whoa dude check this idiot out...he sticks his head in the mouth of an alligator and it clamps down!"? It must really suck to get bitten by an alligator,especially on your head but I just cant pull any sympathy out of my cold cold heart when it comes to that. I would really love to hear the interviewer say something like,"hey bro what the fuck were you thinking? You stuck your head in the mouth of a fucking alligator!". I dont know,maybe I am going to hell for laughing at the plight of others. While I am totally thankful that these people exist, and that they love to video tape their "hey man hold my beer watch this" moments, I sometimes just want to gather them all up and say something like," have a mullet,you wear a wife beater, and you drink heavily the deck is already stacked against you my friend.Dont stick your fucking head in an alligators mouth!". I fear my warnings would be lost on them though. I think at this late stage of the game if you dont know that sticking your head in an alligators mouth is a bad idea then all hope is lost, and maybe you were put on this earth for the amusement of people who know better. I could be wrong...I know when I do something stupid I usually say to myself " damn that was pretty fucking dumb" as I am on my way to the hospital...

Airline Travel

I was recently on a flight from DC to Los Angeles. I find the whole experience of air travel to be more than a little frustrating. Security in the airport is inadequate/incompetent on its best day. Travel with a carry on skydiving rig and it tends to make the situation worse. Then there are the seats! Seats on commercial planes seem to be getting smaller, and closer to other seats. When I fly I tend to not want to carry on much conversation with my seat mates. I am not anti social by any stretch, and I love to meet new people...just not on planes for some reason. Maybe its that by the time I finally make it to my seat in the plane I am so irked from dealing with everything that has to be dealt with at an airport that I just dont want to speak. I just want to relax and get through the flight. I am not rude by any stretch but I definitely put out the "I dont want to talk to you vibe".
So on this recent trip to LA I was in the middle seat. Not my favorite place to be at all. So I arrive at my seat to find I am seated between two of the largest people I have ever seen on an airplane (one needed the seat belt extension and it was still tight). They are both so big that they had the arm rests up, and I literally could not see all of my seat because these two people were spilling out of their seats into mine. This plane was completely full so I could not ask a flight attendant for another seat. So there I was looking at this impossibly small patch of seat fabric thinking that LA is not going anywhere do I really want to endure what I am about to endure on a non-stop flight? I squeeze myself into the seat,pull out my book, and try to forget that I now know what it must be like to be a sardine. I have only had two travel experiences more unpleasant than this one...a redeye train to NYC on Christmas eve, and a C-130 full of puking marines out of TQ Airbase near Fallujah. The person to my right wanted to chat...I quickly put a stop to that, and the person to my left was double fisting choclate chip cookies from a huge bag of chips ahoy. Everytime she dug into the bag she elbowed me in the ribs. So I spent most of that flight trying to remember if the people that were now using every bit of real estate in their seats, and encroaching on the real estate in my seat, actually paid for any of my seat. I dont recall the airline telling me I would have to share my tiny little seat...the folks sitting "next" to me certainly did not offer to pay for the portion of the seat they were using. It really pissed me off. We can put a man on the moon in 1969, and here it is 2007 and we cant make air travel comfortable. Seriously...if you are too big for one seat the airline should make you pay for two! Or an even better airline just for big people! The Lane Bryant of air travel if you will...I dunno...thats my rant for the day...