Saturday, June 27, 2009

The Truman Show on Acid...

I have been spending a lot of time in hotels lately, and watching a lot of reality television. It seem that everything is "reality" now. Apparently it sells.
VH1 takes the cake for reality TV. Flavor of Love,I love New York,Rock of Love, and Daisy of Love are the greatest train wrecks in the history of television, and I have to say they are a guilty pleasure. In case you have not noticed I love watching stupid people be stupid. Set an idiot loose in a room full of idiots and video it...that may be the greatest thing ever. Season 2 of Flavor of Love (Think Ghetto Bachelor with Flavor Flav of Public Enemy as the star) highlighted a girl, nicknamed Somethin Somethin, who actually shit on Flavs floor. Should I say that again...SHIT ON THE FLOOR!!! Seriously, you cant script that! That takes gambling and losing to a whole new level. Needless to say she was eliminated. So, watching this is like being on the scene of a bad accident. I know it's going to scar me,I want to look away, but somehow I just cant. There have been several spin-offs of Flavor of Love concept. The most current one being Daisy of Love. Daisy of Love does not feature anyone shitting on the floor but it does have a bunch of IDIOTS trying to win the affection of a ding-bat named Daisy. Daisy is reasonably attractive if you are into B team strippers. The dudes that are trying to win her heart are grade A morons...I love it! I think the VH1 shows are the best out there because they are truly perpetual Jerry Springer moments.
I love watching this crap but I have to wonder...why the hell would anyone allow a camera to film their enitre life???
Which leads me to the next reality show...John and Kate plus 8. I have never actually watched an episode in it's entirety because I have a reaction that borders on rage when I see this couple and what they are doing to their kids. Kate impresses me as a ball busting bitch, and John impresses me as an absolute knucklehead with no spine. And, what is with that dudes melon!?!? His head block out the sun!!! How could they possibly think that it is OK to parade their children around for the world to watch? Don't they read entertainment mags??? How many child stars wind up in prison,rehab, or dead from drug overdoses??? Parents are supposed to set their kids up for success in life. I honestly think John and Kate are setting their kids up for a massive failure. Enough of my preaching...
I would love to make my own reality show...a hybrid if you will. Flavor of John and Kate Survivor UFC Challenge. Take John and Kate, some UFC fighters, the cream of the crop idiots from the VH1 reality shows, and put them on a truly deserted island for a year. I think the carnage that would ensue would be EPIC!!!! I imagine John and Kate would be killed and eaten by the VH1 folks, who in turn would be mangled by the UFC dudes. The winner of the challenge would have to devise a way to make it back to civilization. Now that would be entertainment! Shit they give a reality show to freakin meter maids...parking enforcement people have a show! Very disappointing though. you never get to see someon rage on a meter person and boot stomp them to within an inch of their life! Tow truck drivers have one...a camera follows them around and watches them tow people out of condos and apartment complexes. I think my idea is waaaaayyyy cooler than that! Maybe the public just isn't ready for it. Maybe I am a visionary who's time has not come. Maybe not...

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